Behave! You in a mall…

Behave! You in a mall…

OK, here is a big one for most of us parents out there… unruly child in a mall.. Once you sit down to process this it becomes quite apparent as to the cause, but absurdly only after some contemplation. We stand firm that our children should be obedient and conform to our demands of ‘do not touch’ ‘be quiet while I do this’ ‘don’t lie all over the floor’ and many more.. without due consideration of their mechanism to cope with their environment.. never mind their total inability to make sense of an environment so extremely bombarding of all their senses and holds very little relevance, if any at all, the their ‘world’ How often do we come out of a mall or the like and comment on how drained we feel, after all it is designed to overwhelm and stun our senses into consuming… and our errands of un-natural and annoying life-admin is incredibly draining, we can make sense of this environment and control it to a degree. As we have developed an understanding for the regulations and concepts of this type of environment we are able to act in it in a ‘ socially acceptable way’ We have developed coping mechanisms to be able to shut off to being bombarded with the information we find irrelevant around us…. and still we find ourselves feeling drained and over stimulated after some hours of senseless flashing lights and bright colours demanding our attention and unnecessary noise etc etc etc If we feel this way .. how must the child feel. This is the most un-natural environment one could possibly imagine. This is an environment that holds no real interest nor relevance for a child besides his addiction to sugar or disposable attraction to some toy that for one holds very little ‘real life’ interest and will in all probability be discarded in a few days for lack of real meaning in his life.. A child learns through touching, feeling, experiencing.. through interacting with his surrounds. In this environment he may not do anything and if he tries to explore he is shouted at and told not to interact when every single thing around him is demanding interaction.. It is very cruel to expect the child to behave to an adults standard in an environment even an adult finds overwhelming.. The child is not ‘naughty’ the adult is insensitive to the child and is setting the child up for failure in demanding and expecting him to ‘behave’ in an environment such as a mall and the like. We send Khai to a Montessori School, it holds a philosophy quite different to conventional schools. One of the trails of thought is to create an environment that supports the child’s inherent striving to learn and to make sense of the world he lives in.. an environment is set up so that the child can easily explore his curiosities, boundaries and abilities at a rate that suites his intuition. The space he is offered is set out so that everything is accessible and holds many activities that he may explore all angles of life from natural science, writing, reading, maths, creativeness and practical life skills and so on .Given the correct and complimentary environment to his size and cravings to learn and explore the child becomes self disciplined and motivated.. When a child can not process the world around him he becomes unruly.. if he is not able to use the information inflicted on his senses he has no outlet and unable to process properly and like sugar with its empty calories creates useless excess so does this over stimulation create unwanted behavior. Given the right environment with the right type and amount of information and activities to quench his thirst to understand the world he lives in, with information that inspires his mind and thoughts, we find we have perfectly obedient children that look up to older kids for inspiration, for as Montessori says:  they see the future of their own future triumph. They do not hold jealousy for what others have for they feel it is attainable for themselves and offering help to the younger allows them to express the joys of what they themselves have learned. We have decided to make a more conscious effort not to inflict Khai and in time Arix to the useless bombardment of places like malls.. places where they can not involve themselves,places that force them to control themselves beyond what is natural for their developmental stage. Of course they need to be able to control themselves but expecting them to have such control that overwhelms even adults is unfair. We will try to split the task and should we be forced into the mundane pain of life-admin and shopping malls we will find a way of adopting ways to allow our boys to have activities that hold relevance to themselves and allow for building up rather than breaking down.. even if it means one dropping the other on the side of the road to explore a hedge or the breakwater next to a parking lot while the other deals with an incompetent, uninformed sales consultant about discrepancies on a mobile phone bill….


About World Wide Open Mind

Nicolas and myself Sasha are on a quest to find a way to educate our kids while exploring the world on our yacht.. The Adventures of Sea Eagle and the Fauchereau Family
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